Forlorn: Post Scene to No More Secrets
by Mulderette
Summary: The team is there for Callen, but he's still feeling lost and alone. Contains spoilers for "No More Secrets."


Callen placed the coin on top of his father's gravestone and slowly began to walk back to where Sam was waiting for him. The last few days had been extremely difficult. He had hoped his father's health would turn around, but it just hadn't happened. He had passed away peacefully with Callen by his side. He still had so many questions. Things he wanted to know, but now never would. He knew that Volkoff had been taunting him in Cuba when he told him about Darius, but the truth was, it really hurt. Hetty had said his father had wanted to protect him. He believed it, but to find out that his father had raised another child, a Comescu child...it was like a dagger to his chest. With his father dying, he'd never confronted him about any of it, but it had always been in the back of his mind. Just more questions that he would never get answers to. It seemed to be the story of his life.

xxxxx

Sam stood outside the Challenger, patiently waiting for G to return from his father's gravesite. The service had been a nice one but Sam's heart was broken for his partner. G was being very stoic, keeping his emotions inside for the most part, but Sam knew how much he had to be affected by all that had happened. He couldn't believe it himself. Finally, he saw his partner approaching.

"Thanks for waiting, Sam."

"Of course. There's no rush, G. Kensi and Deeks have everything handled back at the bar. If you want to take more time, go ahead."

Callen shook his head. "Thanks, but I should be there. It's not right to leave Kensi and Deeks with everything."

"You know they don't mind."

"I know, but I mind. Plus, Alex and Jake will be there. We need to go."

Sam nodded, sighing as Callen got into the car. He then did the same and the two men headed to the bar to the post memorial service reception.

xxxxx

"Uncle Callen!" Jake ran to Callen and threw his arms around him when he and Sam entered the bar.

"Hey Jake." Callen held the boy tightly and squeezed his eyes shut for a long moment, trying to contain his emotions.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked looking up at him.

Callen nodded quickly. "Yeah...I'm just sad about your grandpa, Jake, but I'll be okay. I'm just really glad you're here."

Jake nodded. "I'm sad too, but grandpa said we need to be happy that you and my mom and me are still together. We're a family."

Callen smiled. "Thanks, Jake. You're right. We are a family." His gaze traveled to Alex who was standing a short distance away and he couldn't help but notice the coldness in her eyes. He had hoped that maybe things would have been different after their father had talked to her. He could see they weren't though. If anything, they seemed even worse. He was grateful that she had at least allowed Jake to come here today.

Jake walked over to his mom and Callen followed. "Alex...can I get anything for you, some food, a drink?" Callen gazed at her intently, his blue eyes pleading for peace.

"No thank you, Grisha," she stated unfeelingly. "We're not going to be staying very long. Jake has homework."

"Come on, mom. My teacher will understand. She knows grandpa died."

"Don't fight me on this, Jake or we'll leave right now," Alex snapped. Jake looked as if he was about to say something, but seemed to change his mind and walked away.

"Alex...I...dad is gone...we're each other's family. I...I'd really like for…"

"Grisha don't," Alex cut him off. "I'll give you limited contact with Jake but that's all. Don't think we're going to have some kind of loving family relationship because we're not." She then walked away from him.

"Callen? Here." Deeks handed him a drink which Callen took with a grateful smile. "Are you okay, man?" He'd heard everything and really felt bad for Callen. He didn't know what Alex's problem was. All Callen had ever tried to do was be good to her and Jake. He'd never say it to his team leader, but Callen's sister really was a bitch.

"Yeah...yeah, I'm fine, Deeks." Callen took a sip of the drink, licked his lips and drank some more. "This is really good. What is it?"

"It's a new concoction I came up with." Deeks looked pleased by the compliment. "You really like it?"

Callen nodded. "I really do. Thank you...and thank you for putting all this together so everyone could gather here today. I really appreciate it."

Deeks put his arm around Callen's upper back and patted his shoulder comfortingly. "You don't need to thank me. You're family. Kens and I are happy to do this along with anything else you might need. All you need to do is ask."

Callen nodded and smiled at his younger team member then set about to greeting everyone and thanking all the guests who had come. There were a lot of people, more than he would have thought gathered there. Eric and Nell were there, of course, Rogers, Fatima, and many others. There were also a handful of people who where there for Alex but she didn't introduce him to any of them. At one point, he had approached her when she was speaking with an unfamiliar woman, but the glare she had given him had made him back away swiftly, not wanting to cause even more turmoil between them, afraid that she would keep Jake from him for good. Finally, he made his way to the bar and sat down, feeling exhausted and somewhat overwhelmed. "How are you holding up, sweetheart?" Roberta asked, looking at him sympathetically. "Have you eaten anything?"

"No, but he's about to," Sam said, sitting down next to his partner and placing a plate of food on the bar in front of Callen. Roberta smiled and went about her duties, knowing Callen was in good hands.

"I'm really not hungry," Callen protested.

"I know you're not, buddy, but I told Hetty I'd get you to eat something and if you don't, I'm pretty sure she's going to come over here to force feed you.

Callen nodded as he speared a small meatball with a fork and put it into his mouth. "This is really good," he said, sounding surprised. "Where did it come from?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm not sure who they got to cater this. You're right though, the food is exceptional."

Callen ate some more food and his eyes swept across the bar to where Hetty seemed to be attempting to engage Alex in conversation. "I know she means well, but it's not going to help," he murmured softly.

"Hetty?" Sam asked, his eyes following his partner's. "You never know, G. Hetty has been known to work wonders with the stubbornest people."

Callen nodded, on the verge of unloading his frustrations about Alex, but in the end he kept his feelings to himself and made himself eat some of the food, just trying to please Sam and Hetty. Ultimately, it was the easiest thing to do.

"You doing okay?" Kensi asked as she leaned over the bar to speak to Callen.

"I am. Thanks for all you've done here today, Kens...the food is great. Everything is." They had really done a terrific job and he knew they had heavily discounted the price of everything. He was going to have to force them to at least take an extra couple of hundred dollars. He knew they were still struggling with the bar as far as making money went and he didn't want to add to their woes.

"We were glad to do it for you." Deeks had told Kensi how Alex had been acting and her heart went out to Callen. She had no idea why she persisted in treating her brother that way. He just didn't deserve it.

"Uncle Callen?"

"Hi Jake, you doing okay?" Jake nodded, but his eyes looked sad. "Mom said we have to go."

Callen nodded as the boy came to him and gave him a hug which he returned. "I'll see you soon." At least he hoped he would. He never knew with Alex. "I love you."

"I love you too. Bye, Uncle Callen."

"See ya, Jake."

"Mr. Callen."

"Hi Hetty." Callen turned to the diminutive woman who had silently walked up to him.

"I'm sure Alex will let you see Jake again very soon."

"Are you sure?" Callen asked sadly. "Because I'm not."

"Let's just say I'm cautiously optimistic." She eyed his plate which was still pretty full. "It doesn't look like you ate very much."

"I ate enough. Trust me, Hetty, I'm not in any danger of starving."

Hetty nodded. "I don't suppose you'd consider staying with me at Dovecote for a night or two?"

Callen actually considered her request for a few moments before he shook his head. "I'm really okay, Hetty. You don't need to worry about me. Some other time?"

"Some other time." Hetty smiled and took his hand squeezing it. "You know where I am if you need me."

"I do. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Mr. Callen."

xxxxx

Callen walked out of the bar with Sam towards his vehicle. He was the last one to leave and Callen couldn't help but be glad the day was finally over. It had been very long and tiring.

"G?"

Callen looked at his friend blankly, having no idea what he had asked him. "Yeah?"

"I told you I have a pair of tickets to see the Dodgers Saturday afternoon. Do you want to go?"

He really had no desire to go to a baseball game, but was smart enough to realize that staying at home wallowing wasn't going to help him in the least. "That sounds great, Sam. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Sam gave his partner a heartfelt look and then drew him in for a hug. "Anything you need, G...Any time of day or night…"

Callen nodded, feeling a little bit choked up, watching until Sam got into his Challenger then drove out of sight. His friends were great, much better than he deserved. He honestly didn't know what he would do without them.

xxxxx

He walked back into the bar where Kensi, Deeks and Roberta were busy cleaning up. He proceeded to start clearing a table when Deeks stopped him. "No way, Callen. We've got this."

"I can help, Deeks. I don't mind."

"Callen," Kensi said, her voice gentle. "Go get some rest. Deeks is right. We've got this. It's not going to take very long anyway."

"You're sure?" he asked, torn between helping and going upstairs for some much needed alone time.

Roberta broke into the conversation. "We've got it, honey, and if you get hungry in the middle of the night, there are lots of leftovers back there in the refrigerator. Help yourself.

"Okay..." He stood there for a few moments, looking lost then proceeded to head towards the stairs to his apartment. "Goodnight, everyone...thank you...for everything."

"Goodnight, Callen," Deeks said, his words echoed by Kensi and Roberta.

At last, Callen was able to head up to his apartment. He had only just closed the door behind him when the tears he'd been mostly holding back all day began to flow. He cried for his mother, sister and father, all dead, hopefully finally reunited in some other world. And he cried for himself, for the child he had been and the man he had become. He had a makeshift family that meant the world to him. He loved Hetty and each of his team members all who he would die for without a second thought. However, deep down in his heart, with everything that had happened, he still felt very much alone.


End file.
